


Maybe one day

by Justanotherpanickinggay



Series: We are Family AU [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Dissociation, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Kinda, Minor Character Death, Non-binary Riri Williams, Sam Wilson Feels, Sam Wilson Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27839320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justanotherpanickinggay/pseuds/Justanotherpanickinggay
Summary: Sam is struggling after the loss of Riley but Bucky is there to help him
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, Riley/Sam Wilson, Riri Williams & Sam Wilson
Series: We are Family AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1473560
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Maybe one day

**Author's Note:**

> Ok several things  
> 1\. Bucky is not actually related to Sam or Riri. Riri just calls him their uncle because he's Sam's best friend  
> 2\. For people asking about family trees Sam and Riley met in the army and eventually adopted Riri. Riley died about 6 months before this is set.   
> Anyway, thank you all for reading and I hope you are all having a good day.

**He held his position high above the rest. But he could see the planes below him. One of them moved in the wrong direction it swooped turned spun. Something was coming.**

**“Riley, Riley, Riley are you ok? What’s happening? Riley? Riley?” He screamed through the console. Something was wrong. Then he saw it coming up behind him. The missile. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say, he couldn’t move, his body was frozen in place.**

**“I’m sorry Sam” Riley replied. “Tell Riri I love her. I love you. I’m sorry I’m so-………….” He was cut off. There was a long beep and a deafening crash…………………**

0---0

“Dad? Daaad? What’s wrong? You’re staring at the wall.”

Sam looked over at Riri. “Oh, sorry honey I just didn’t sleep very well last night.” He chuckled looking down at his toast and beginning to butter it.

“Ok well I’m gonna go to school cos I promised Harley I’d meet him early but feel free to continue staring at walls.” Riri laughed grabbing their school books from the table and putting them into their backpack. “Oh, and auntie Nat called said you need to remember that Grandpa’s birthday is next month."

Sam nodded absentmindedly eating his toast. 

Riri walked across the apartment grabbing their shoes. "You gonna be ok Dad?” They asked. Sam sighed and looked at his kid. They were amazing but they weren’t the one who was supposed to be looking after him. He was supposed to be looking after them.

He nodded. “Of course, I will. Now go to school or Harley will never forgive me.” Riri laughed and walked out the house opening the chat they had with their uncle Bucky as they walked.

_Riri to Bucky_

[8:04] Riri: Hey

[8:04] Riri: Dad needs your help today

_Bucky is typing…_

[8:05] Bucky: What did he do this time?

[8:07] Riri: I found him staring at the kitchen wall. He didn’t really listen to me when I was talking to him. He says he’s just tired, but I’m not dumb he’s not ok and he needs someone. So, if you could go over and maybe help him out because I have to go to school?

[8:08] Bucky: Yeah of course I can kiddo. Leave it with me.

[8:09] Riri: Thanks. Gotta catch the bus good luck.

[8:10] Bucky: Have fun at school.

Riri smiled and put their phone in their pocket as they ran for the bus. Their dad was in good hands. Everything was gonna be ok.

0---0

Bucky left his apartment after eating breakfast and jogged over towards Sam’s house on the other end of the city. He stopped along the way to buy Sam’s favourite cookies and two coffees.

He texted Sam.

_*Hey, I’m coming over got cookies and coffee. See you soon*_

He got to Sam’s about 20 mins later and knocked carefully on the door. No reply. He knocked again. Still no reply.

“Sam you in?” He called.

His only reply was the sound of the TV volume being turned up. One of these days he was going to kill his best friend. He banged on the door.

“Samuel Joseph Wilson open up or so help me I will break down the goddamn door.” Still no reply.

He rolled his eyes and pulled the spare key out of his pocket before unlocking the door and walking into the apartment slowly. He entered the living room and saw Sam lying on the floor staring blankly at the ceiling. Bucky sighed.

“Hey, Sam you want a cookie?” He tried. There was no reply. “Sam, I know you’re having a hard time, but I can’t imagine the floor is a very comfortable place for you to be lying you wanna try and sit on the couch?”

Sam groaned loudly slowly pushing himself up off the floor before he climbed onto the couch where Bucky was sitting.

“See the couch isn’t that bad.” Bucky joked.

Sam didn’t reply he just put his head in his hands and sighed loudly. Bucky put his hand on Sam’s shoulder, but Sam shrugged it off and pulled away. So, it was worse than usual Bucky thought. Sam was having one of those days this was not going to go away easily.

“So, Sam what’s wrong?” Bucky asked. Sam didn’t reply he just shook his head. “Ok look Sam I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Sam groaned and sat up leaning against the back of the couch. There was a long silence. Sam picked at the hem of the couch cushion he was sitting on whilst Bucky sipped his coffee.

When Sam finally spoke, his voice was barely more than a whisper. “I don’t really know what to do. It’s like my life is falling apart in front of my eyes. My brain is against me. Every time I close my eyes he’s there. I dream of the times when we were together, and we were happy but then all the dreams end the same way I see him in the plane and I can’t do anything and he’s falling so far and so fast and I can’t stop it it’s horrible. It’s awful and I can’t cope with it. I have to be strong because I’ve got Riri and I can’t be this weak parent in front of them because they deserve everything, and they need me, and they’ve been through way too much already I just- I just…” He leant forward his head in his hands and sobbed.

After a few minutes he sat up rubbing his eyes. “Aren’t you gonna make some big meaningful speech about how I should move on and it’s all gonna be ok?” he asked slightly sarcastically looking up at his best friend.

“Something tells me that’s not what you want to hear?” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

Sam chuckled “No. God no. I have heard that one so many times. And it never makes it better. The _Look at you, you proud gay single parent. Raising your kid on your own. Being there for them whilst holding down a job and here you are still contributing to the school bake sale_.”

“Well your cupcakes are good.” Bucky laughed. “But I don’t think there’s something I can say to make it better. Cos it sucks right? It really does. Doesn’t it? He was here one day and not the next. You loved him, you raised a child with him and now you’ll never see him again. There’s no two ways about it. It feels like there’s nothing that can fix it because what could. And all the “I’m so sorry for your loss” and “You’re so brave” comments don’t help. They just feel fake and useless because it won’t bring him back. Maybe one day there'll be something I can do to make it better but not right now. And even though there’s nothing I can say to fix this, I’m here. So, if you want to tell me about him or how you’re feeling or even what kind of cupcakes you made for the school bake sale or if you don’t want to talk at all and you just want me to sit on your couch in silence with you please tell me. Text me, call me, turn up to the flat at 2 am I really don’t mind. But please for the love of god don’t let me find you alone lying on the floor of your front room watching Gordan Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares again. Because I despise Gordan Ramsey and you deserve to have someone there with you.”

Sam nodded looking slightly better. “Thank you, maybe I'll talk about him one day, but I can't now,” he paused, and Bucky nodded understandingly before going back to his coffee.

“I do want that cookie though.” Sam smiled

Bucky laughed “Only if I get to change the channel because this is rotting my brain.”

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone wants me to put any specific warnings for anything please say. Stay safe and I hope you're having a good day! :)


End file.
